Definition An at-home dad is any father who is the daily, primary caregiver of his children. Many at-home dads also provide some income to the family by working an evening shift full-time or working from home part-time or doing odd jobs when it works into the family’s schedule. These men may identify themselves by these careers, but, if they are with their children during most days, they are at-home dads.
Isolation Being an at-home dad can be an isolating experience which can lead to depression. Every at-home parent deals with isolation but this is magnified for at-home dads because our society is unfamiliar with men taking this role. On the playground, in the grocery store, or at pre-school, at-home dads often feel ignored or sometimes, feared, by the people they encounter. This makes it difficult for at-home dads to feel comfortable in their role or make many adult friends. While the number of men choosing to stay home with their children has grown by 60% over the last 4 years, at-home dads still have many difficulties finding and connecting with other at-home dads. (For more statistics on at-home dads, click here.)
Identity At-home dads struggle with their identity as men. Society still believes that childcare and household chores are “a woman’s work” so at-home dads often can feel unsure of their manliness. This is further complicated by friends, family and even their own spouses not supporting their decision to be at-home dads. For some at-home dads, this identity struggle is too great and the family suffers from a man who becomes depressed and frustrated about his perceived failings to “be a man” or they return to work. Fortunately, most at-home dads come to enjoy their unique role and get comfortable changing diapers and folding laundry instead of “bringing home the bacon.” These at-home dads are redefining the very definition of masculinity.
Connecting In order to improve one’s life as an at-home dad, and that of his family, he must be brought out of isolation and re-form his identity to become confident in this boundary-breaking role. One of the best ways, according to recent research by Dr. Aaron Rochlen of the University of Texas-Austin, is to connect with other at-home dads. However, finding other at-home dads nearby can be a great challenge. Daddyshome’s mission is to bridge this gap by offering a resource for at-home dads to communicate in discussion forums, start or find a local at-home dad group and gather for the Annual At-Home Dad’s Convention.
Male Fellowship At-home dads have a lot in common with at-home moms, but they are not moms. Men have different interests and styles of communication. Men parent differently. There is something that men gain from fellowship with other men that would be difficult to find in a mom’s group. In previous roles, an at-home dad found male friends through work or school. But at-home dads are typically much more isolated as noted above. Daddyshome, our local at-home dad groups and annual convention offer a place for them to connect to new friends who are in the same situation.
